Everyone keeps telling me to use these last few days for sleep because once babygirl arrives, sleep may be extremely elusive. But I just can't seem to take their advice - I fall asleep quickly enough, but then during the wee hours (and I mean around my third trip to the bathroom around 2:30am), my brain switches over to contemplation mode...forget sleeping at that point!
I can't stop thinking about what to name this little bundle of joy inside of me. This feels like the most important decision facing me right now - and I'm stuck between some fairly hippie names like Sunshine Laine and Autumn Rose and straightforward names like Alyssa Rose and Angelina Nichole. Kylie Cadence was our starting point, two years ago, and it just has not stood the test of time for me. This makes me worry that all of these names will lose their magic and I'll regret selecting them - however, part of me realizes that the true magic in any name comes from the bearer - and my sweetie is going to make whatever name she is given sparkle with her personality and spirit.
An interesting sidenote on the name game - my adorable baby sister has had her future daughter's name picked out since she was a tween: "Autumn Elaine" When she came down to visit me last month, I'm sure she told me this, and that's how the name Autumn entered into my brain... and subconsciously became one of my favorites too when I woke up one morning thinking of it. When I told sis how much I loved the name Autumn Rose, she gasped, but then selflessly told me that of course I could use the name, and then admitted that ever since I introduced her to the name "Alyssa Laine" that she has been enamored of it...for her own little bundle of joy (someday)! So, we may be making a trade of sorts - and it would be a cute story to tell Autumn Rose of how her Auntie Sommer actually knew her name before her mama did!
Of course, I can't pick one until I meet my little angel... and heck - all of the above top contenders might get thrown out when it comes down to the real deal!!!
Another thought that continually spirals around is wondering when and where my water will break. My mom advises me that hers never broke until she was already in the hospital and the doctor actually pierced the bag... I don't know if these are the kinds of things that get passed down - strong placentas - but I think I would prefer to have it happen in the hospital. I really don't want it to happen in bed...and about this point (3:30am) I'm getting up and heading downstairs to pace the night away - over tile - just in case... Yes, I do realize that this is slightly neurotic, thank you very much for pointing that out.
My mom has arrived to help ease the stress of baby's first few weeks at home. I have been rather independent for the last, hmmmm, seven years or so- since the family moved up to Washington, and have become the kind of woman who really does enjoy doing things for herself. One of the retorts that has popped out of my mouth numerous times throughout the pregnancy is, "Gosh, I'm pregnant - not an invalid - I can DO IT MYSELF!" whenever anyone tries to overbaby me. I still get a little weird when she tries to put my shoes on me - because I can still get them on just fine by myself - but I won't refuse her offer to tie them at this point!
She seems most excited to prepare food and keep the house running in some semblance of order - laundry, dishes, keeping the floors clean, keeping visitor's numbers and frequency under control, etc. Another point she's earned is that she's mentioned numerous times how she understands if I get very mama-bear about allowing others to hold the baby - that she felt that way when she had her infants taken and passed from lap to lap. And she also promised to be the "clean hands police" for me. I love not having to be the bad guy, and I'm so glad to have her here!
As far as updates on baby action - my doctor's appointment for last Thursday got cancelled because my doctor had to perform surgery. My next appointment is on Tuesday - we'll find out if there's any dilation, check babygirl's heart rate, and guesstimate her size and weight. They probably won't consider inducing labor until I am at least a week or two beyond my estimated due date of 10-22 (tomorrow, if we are counting). The part of me that is nervous about delivery keeps wishing that she would have made her debut already - so she can stop getting bigger and bigger inside of me and start growing bigger and bigger in my arms instead!!! She's still very active inside of me - and around 8:30pm each night she starts headbutting me and causing me some striking pain way down low (I don't think these are contractions, but heck - this is my first, so who knows?)... she carries on this way for around a half hour and then flippity flops around like a trout (kicking me in the ribs if I'm sitting down) for another ten minutes before she gets the hiccups and then - I'm sure all tuckered out, she calms down until the wee hours of the morning. She hates it when I squeeze myself into the car for more than 20 minutes at a time - she pushes up on my lungs and ribs on the right side until it feels bruised on the inside... I bet she'll love to be able to stretch herself out in my arms once she arrives!